Ivys Voice

It has been awhile since I last wrote about my little Ivy.  I may not speak of it to others but I remember her everyday.  I want to say hey remember my darling daughter!  But it only makes people uncomfortable.  Out of sight out of mind type of thing.  I sat and watched home movies of her for hours tonight.  She was so vibrant and clear and her voice so alive....so very alive.  I listen to myself in those videos, a proud father of 3 beautiful girls.  I hear the kindness and cheerful timbre of my voice, my own voice and think how very far I am from that person.  

I know I am different now but life must still be lived,  new precious moments made with our wonderful twin girls and darling little son.  

So while ivy's voice is always with me, happy and clear, mine is not so happy or quite as kind as it used to be.  For my friends and family I appreciate your patience.  Your time and your love.  I know we are coming up on the 4th anniversary of her death and instead of celebrating and having a babtism we will now enter the part of life where you have been away longer than we spent with you.  

To all those who are a constant in my life I thank you.  Those who let me call and ask them questions, those who listen and those who just pat me on the back,  thank you

And to my little angel keep whispering to me in that voice.  I may not be the person you remember but I will be someone you can be proud of.

Love always

Dad.